Images: CYork Photography

Yesterday was Mother’s Day (as I am sure anyone on social media, soon realized) and I had planned a personal post for today, but decided to share this gorgeous, same-sex maternity session instead. I love this session not only for the beautiful photography & the gorgeous couple, but for the story behind these two incredible women and their journey to motherhood. I know many people personally that are struggling to get pregnant, or have faced miscarriage, and it’s something MORE PEOPLE should be talking about (along with the struggles of being a working mom, the lack of childcare & paid leave in our country, and the reality of post-partum depression ) because keeping things like this inside is isolating and damaging. I know not everyone is keen on sharing intimate details like this, but I am thankful for those of you that are, because I KNOW there will be people reading this post today that can (or maybe will) relate and if it helps even one other reader, then I am happy this couple was brave to share their personal journey.

So my Mother’s Day reflection will wait, and instead we will celebrate today the struggle and hardship of not-yet Mothers (& parents), of almost Mothers, and of some that may never get to be Mothers. <3

From Rebecca: Azuree and I always had the goal of expanding our family. Last year, we decided it was the right time to get started since we had witnessed how long it could take, and also how waiting could make it take longer. We are so fortunate to live in DC where we have access to top notch fertility doctors, and got started in March 2016 with natural cycle IUI. When that didn’t work after two tries, we took a much needed emotional break from treatment over the summer. No one tells you how hard that part can be! After another unsuccessful try, we got some testing done and changed our treatment plan to medicated IUI. Well-that worked, x2! We found out I was pregnant on October 24th, but imagine the surprise we got when on November 8th we found out it was two instead of one!

Trying to get pregnant was much more of an emotional process than I thought it would be for us, and I think the best advice I could give to other LGBT families starting this journey is to have patience with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically while you are doing this. It is easy to beat yourself up and go into a dark place. Don’t stay there.

Talk to each other. Keep making each other laugh and going on dates and flirting. It really does help to keep a realistic view of what and why you are doing this. See a therapist. Tell them your irrational fears and thoughts out loud. They get less scary and overwhelming that way, and when you are expecting it will help to continue to go. We couldn’t have done this without taking care of ourselves first. Fingers crossed that makes us good parents!

From Azureé: I am currently writing a book that will help Lesbian & Queer non-carrying parents transition into parenthood and support their partner’s pregnancy. My book will focus on the social and emotional side to being lesbian or queer identified on the journey to parenthood. I grew tired of reading heteronormative “Dad to Be” and “Pregnant Mom to Be” books that fell very short of meeting my needs in wanting to support my wife’s pregnancy and prepare myself to become a mother as well. I am motivated to write in response to this lack of lesbian & queer representation (particularly, by authors of color) in literature. Book updates can be accessed via my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AzureeWrites/

2 comments

  1. We went through 7 rounds to conceive our daughter – 5 natural cycle IUI and 2 rounds of IUI with Clomid. It was rough, but worth it. Some day I’m going to write an article about the emotional energy of trying to conceive through a fertility clinic, especially for queer couples, because I don’t feel like it’s talked about in enough places. Congratulations on your babies to be!

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