It’s time for a personal post. This time it’s more marriage/love focused and not so much wedding advice, which let’s face it, is more important any way. The whole point of having a wedding is so, ya know, you can be MARRIED to your partner!
I’ve been trying to get previous couples to share their post-wedding reflections, looking back on their weddings and now as a married couple, what advice they would share with other couples just about to step into this part of their relationship. It’s been easier said than done (turns out a lot of people don’t like to write/type), but I am still looking (email me!) and in the meantime, I will continue to share my own thoughts and experiences instead.
Love Is About All the Changes You Make, Not Just Three Small Words
Today’s thoughts come from one of my favorite musical artists, Frank Turner. His song “The Way I Tend to Be” (give it a listen above) has one of my favorite lyrics, “love is about all the changes you make and not just three small words”. While saying “I Love You” wholeheartedly and often is a good practice in a happy marriage, it’s not simply enough. Changing, evolving, growing, and compromising are all things that will help your love stay alive and equate to a happier life together with your partner.
Personally, I’ve had to change in certain ways since marrying Andy almost 3 years ago. While we had already been together a long time before getting married (about 7 years), officially signing that certificate and announcing our commitment to each other for life, in front of our family and friends, makes it a bit more official. We were now, for better or for worse, in this thing TOGETHER. My failures were his failures, my successes were his successes, and our lives, problems, financials, etc, were now shared.
Some of the changes have been bigger (attempting to be more patient, less critical) and some have been minor (letting Andy answer questions that are directed his way, instead of answering for him – why do I do THAT?!). But no matter the size, the changes are present, and they certainly don’t end magically after 1-2 years of marriage. There will always been changes to make and work on in our marriage and our relationship. Some we will make together and some I will have to make myself. And as we evolve and continue to grow in our marriage, we will continue to utter those 3 small words all along the way too.