Let’s Get Personal: A Loss of Direction & Need for New Goals

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  • July 22, 2015

Bree-Headshots-13

 Image: This Rad Love

As I sit on my couch next to my (almost) sleeping 2.5 month old, I find myself in the midst of a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. The 2016 wedding inquiries are coming in, my 2nd to last workshop of 2015 is drawing near, my blog editorial calendar is nearly empty, and I have to admit that I am struggling.

I am struggling with a focus for how to keep up on all the things I planned for this year, how to better align my priorities (both personal and business), and how to plan my 2016, when that seems nearly impossible with a new top priority in my life. I know there are parts of Capitol Romance that I want to continue (the blog, working weddings, new ventures), but I think I am struggling with ones that I should probably let go of (the workshops, working weddings).

I think a lot of this stems from a problem I have had with Capitol Romance since Day 1 – not having a clear goal or business plan for this little biz and while flying by the seat of my pants worked before, it’s just not going to work going forward. Having Capitol Romance as my “fun side gig” worked when my day job was stable, and my life was fairly free. But with the new addition to mine and Andy’s lives, I know I need to refocus for 2016 on what I REALLY want to do with CapRo and honestly, what’s worth pouring my (slightly tapped) energy into.

And here’s where I am REALLY struggling – I have literally NO idea how to do it. I’ve started some things – a blog, a wedding coordination business, a workshops venture, a forthcoming collaboration with Typecase Industries and I’ve really enjoyed all of them, but something has to give. And I’ll be honest, I am terrified to let any of them go because it will seem like a failure – like I couldn’t succeed. But honestly, it’s just that I don’t have the time anymore to put myself 100% into ALL of these things and as the great Ron Swanson once said “never half-ass two things, whole ass one thing.” (god I miss this show).

So it’s time Romancers. It’s time to finally do something I should have done MANY years ago (and probably kept up with each year). It’s time to say goodbye to some parts of Capitol Romance and re-focus on what I really want to do with this business for 2016. I have some thoughts lingering and I think I just need to sit down this weekend and really write it out. I hope you guys will all continue on the ride no matter what I decide :)

Thanks for listening.

 

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30 Comments

  • Laura says:

    Thank you, Bree. Just thank you. Takes courage to be honest. Takes courage to admit when something’s gotta give. And it takes courage to show that even the most successful people struggle.

    You inspire me, and no matter what you do and what direction you go in, know that you’ve made an impact in my life. And hell, I’m not even your prime target “customer.”

    So focus on you, focus on your beautiful baby and husband–and everything will fall into place.

    “(God/Universe/Buddha/etc.), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    <3
    Laura
    @wearesober
    PS: Will I still see you on Aug 2?

  • kellyjo says:

    Whatever you decide, you and your business are going to be just fine. And so is the little one.
    “leap and the net will appear” has gotten me through a lot, and I hope it will for you, too.
    Keep rockin’ it!

  • Darlene says:

    Same thing happened when I had my little one. Change is hard. You’re not a failure, just really in demand! Sounds like your head and heart are in the right place! You’re doing great!

  • Laura says:

    Girl, I hear you! Life with a baby changes EVERYTHING. Let yourself off the hook, you are not a failure. You are somebody’s mama!!! Happy to offer support from one working mama with a baby to another if you need it. :)

  • It’s not a failure at all — just focus on how you’ve created SEVERAL amazing ventures and now you just have to choose which one makes you happiest/feel most successful/MONEY to pay for millions of diapers! I’m so glad to have been there from the start and I look forward to seeing what’s next.

  • Oh Bree! What a genuine and personal post. Life tends to be that way, I’ve been where you are [minus a very adorable baby!]. Life always has a way of working out and putting you right where you should be. Here’s to healthy and strategic changes for Capitol Romance!! We’re behind you always!

  • First of all, thank you so much for sharing your honest and genuine words and thought process. And huge props for thinking about this all so much! Truly, way too many business owners don’t – they continue to go with whatever model they started with, or however the business has evolved to be based on circumstances – even though it would be clear with only a single step back that changes should be made. And that’s when it’s just the business to consider, much less changes in family and personal circumastances! No way is this a failure – this is EXACTLY what smart business owners should do (and don’t do often enough). Regularly reevaluate the business itself and all of its pieces, reevaluate the marketplace (as changes in the wedding world and marriage equality finally being nationwide have changed things for many of us), revaluate our lives and where we stand, and reevaluate our hearts and what gives us the most joy. I mean, really, if owning our own businesses means that we have the craziness and uncertainties and risk and many more hours that we wouldn’t (usually) have with a “normal” job, it also means that we have some benefits, and one of those is to only focus on what brings us the most joy. I’m incredibly proud of you for going through this process, and excited to see what the end result is! Wherever both your heart and your effort will be, I know will be a huge success. Good luck figuring it all out!

    • Thank you Bethel! What an amazing, heartfelt, and truly insightful post!!! You are so right, and I hope to take what you’ve written here to heart. It helps more than you might imagine!!

  • Maggie! says:

    Bree! You are gonna do extremely great no matter what you focus on! You can whole ass things SUPER FUCKING WELL (I also seriously miss that show), I can only imagine how amazing your endeavors will be next year! <3

  • Andy says:

    You’re a rockstar mom, wife and entrepreneur. One thing you’re NOT is a failure. Things change. Priorities change. Deciding to narrow your focus on a few things instead of a multitude of things doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You’re right to seek guidance in Ron Swanson.

    Regardless of what you decide to do, I’ll always support you in any way possible.

  • Katie Rose says:

    Breathe, rest, and take time to enjoy your new blessing. Babies have an amazing way of refocusing your life. Even though it feels difficult to let go of some areas you have enjoyed and built for your business, you will never regret the time you are able to spend now devoted to your family. With my oldest almost driving, I miss the first innocent days of cuddles and learning to adjust to my heart beating outside my body. You are amazing, and your friends and followers will continue to enjoy sharing your journey with you. <3 ~K

    • <3 thank you so Katie - this response was awesome. And it's true, Evie does seem to be changing my life and focus in ways I never imagined. But it's needed. I'll never grow personally or professionally if I don't change.

  • Jo says:

    Wow – what an honest and inspiring post!! Now that your life has a new meaning, and you are most needed as a Mom (that’s a job too!), it takes a lot of guts to say what you did. If you love doing weddings, I would say do a couple of them a year just to stay fresh. But since doing wedding take a lot of time and energy, and most importantly a lot of time away from your little girl, limit the amount and be very choosy of the ones your pick. I would keep up with the website if that’s easiest – you can do it at home in your pj’s, with your precious one sleeping next to you. :)

    I will give you the same advice that one of my coworkers gave me. Your priorities have completely changed right now. But once your little one is not so little, and is in school in a few years, you will be able to (and may want to) devote more time to work. Don’t get out of the industry completely right now. Just work as much as you can to stay up to speed, but not too much to be overwhelmed. That may be 10 hours a week or 25 – you have to find what works for you!! In a few years, you will cherish the time you spent with your daughter, but will also be grateful that you will be able to slip back into a full time job (if you so choose) pretty easily.

    • Thank you Jo – your response was awesome and your advice, noted. I don’t think I will leave the industry/what I’ve started completely, but I def need to dial back for now. Appreciate it!

  • You gotta do you. We can live without the piñatas.

  • Jen says:

    I’ll always be along for the ride, no matter where we’re going :)

  • I think many of us have struggled with similar feelings. Thank you for being so open and honest. I know that when I struggle with finding my own direction, or being overwhelmed with the number of directions I’m pulled in, I can feel like a failure, or that I’m alone. It’s reassuring to know that others go through this, and come out on the other side, refocused, redirected, and reinvigorated. You have got this!

    • Thank you Angela – I do think sharing my feelings, no matter how raw or hard it might be, only helps me to get that redirection I need. Or at least I hope so ;)

  • Maureen says:

    You have done so much and will continue to take strides forward in your life with a focus on whatever feels best to you right now. :) Keep in mind that a) it’s awesome that you’re taking the time and energy to do this restructuring for yourself and b) you can always change your mind and refocus again in the future. That always helps me… knowing that nothing is permanent and if you don’t like your decision you can always change it! No matter what you choose I can’t wait to follow along and support!

    • Thank you Maureen – that is SO true. I love that way of looking at it — no matter what path I choose for 2016, it’s never set in stone. That’s the total awesomeness of running your own business :) Thank you for the response, the support, and following along!!

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